Finally sleep trained!

We did it! Toddler X sleeps in his own bed! All night! Whew. Now that I have all those exclamatory remarks out of the way, I bet you’re wondering what unknown secret I managed to find that no mom in 10000 years of human history has ever thought to try. Well, I don’t have one to share with you. We did half ass sleep training every few months. Invariably, we got lazy and the toddler ended up back in the bed, sleeping sideways between us.

If I had to guess, this time we were just ready. All of us. Our bedtime routine is pretty unorthodox, we all lay in the bed and watch TV until ten pm. Then we give kisses and X goes to his crib. What once was followed with at least fifteen minutes of screaming is now a quiet affair. He lays down, occasionally we will hear him say a word or phrase and he falls asleep. Maybe it has to do with him finally beginning to attach to something other than his belly button. He holds his teddy close and together they pass the night. When I check on him, teddy is usually still clutched in his arms.

It’s been a week now of full time crib sleeping. He wakes between 7 and 9 and I bring him to my bed for cuddles. Usually he falls back asleep until 9am and then we are up and ready for our day.

We tried a variety of sleep training methods with varying degrees of success. I think what finally worked for us was being ready to commit to it. With another kid on the way, my belly is going to need that space he was taking up in the bed. I was also irrationally afraid he would kick my tummy in the night and I would wake up in a pool of blood. What? I said it was irrational! So we stuck to it and it worked. We are no longer bedsharing. Yes, I do have nightmares that I will go in and find him dead in his crib or not find him there at all. Mommy brain never turns off. Even at night.

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9 thoughts on “Finally sleep trained!

  1. Just curious how long you did the bed sharing thing with your little one?? I have a 4 month old that has been sleeping with me pretty much since day one. I hope to someday get her sleep trained but struggle with it for various reasons. How long did you wait to sleep train? Would love to hear your thoughts!

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    1. We bedshared for 18 months. We tried sleep training every once in awhile starting at 6 months. We did mostly variations of the cry it out method. I just didn’t have the heart to listen to him cry for more than a minute or two. I love attachment parenting, so cosleeping was something I really enjoyed. My husband was less enthusiastic about sharing his bed with yet another mammal (two cats also bedshare!). For nighttime nursing it was just so convenient. Once he stopped needing to nurse at night, we tried again. Then again at 12 months when he stopped nursing altogether. It just never took hold. He started to form an attachment to a teddy, though, after never being a thumb sicker, pacifier lover, or having a lovey. Once I wasn’t his lovey anymore, it was actually really easy to get him sleep trained. I think it’s about knowing your kid and listening to their needs. Comfort is a need and it comforted him to sleep by me. His teddy comforts him now, so he sleeps in his crib with teddy. 🙂 I hope you figure out something that works for you.

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      1. Thank you so much for your insight! I love attachment parenting too and my daughter absolutely loves sleeping next to me. I love it as well but feel pressured to change because one of her pediatricians gave me a guilt trip about it saying it’s not safe. My idea is to try sleep training at 6 months and like you, I can’t do cry it out! It hurts my heart way to much and she’s still so little I would never forgive myself. Thanks again for sharing we shall see what the future holds! xx

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      2. I’m sorry that your doctor is pressuring you. My doc made sure I understood the risks, but was pretty open minded about it. I think there are some things where you have to go with your gut. The statistics can be alarming, but there are trends to doctors’ advice too. Until recently, they recommended putting baby to sleep on their tummy. In another ten years, they may revise the cosleeping thoughts as well. I know, especially when he was smaller, every move he made in the night woke me. I was hypervigilant all-night to where his body was and where mine was. It led to poor sleep for me, but my mind needed to constantly be sure he was safe. I don’t know if it’s the same for you, but it would have been hard to roll over and suffocate my baby when I ever fell completely asleep!

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      3. Yes I’m just like that very aware of everything and a very light sleeper. My hips starts hurting from being in the same position every night and yes very poor sleep but like you said I feel safer having her next to me. If I was the type to sleep through her crying or sleep like a brick then yes in the crib she would go!

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      4. In another month or two, once she is really rolling around, you’ll start to sleep like a real person again. Your body will believe your mind that she can roll out of the way and you will sleep harder and deeper. By the time he was a year old, I wouldn’t even feel him when he moved. Unfortunately, he sometimes moved to the foot of the bed and would sometimes roll off onto the floor. Eek! With the next baby, I think we will cosleep, but not bedshare. As much as I loved it, I don’t know that my nerves can handle the lack of sleep and the midnight crashes to the floor!

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      5. Oh yikes that would scare me if she fell out of bed! I completely understand why you would just go with co sleeping for your next baby. Congrats by the way on baby #2!!

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  2. I hope so, too! For us, it was just the right time. We tried and failed many times, so if it doesn’t go well at first, pull back. You can always try again in a week or a month.

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