5 Things I Iearned About Parenting This Week 

1. Every diaper explosion is the worst one ever. Why? It’s the one I have to deal with right now. Baby X was in his Bumbo chair when I started to hear the telltale grunting. I figured I would let him go ahead and finish eating his snack. We have been having troubles with the tray. Baby X learned if he shoves, it just comes off and he can climb out. So that’s what he did a minute later. I walked over to pick all the food off the floor and saw a trail from his tiny legs to a pond of liquid feces in the Bumbo. I must have made some sound that translated to ‘crawl away from mommy’ in baby speak. So, I was stuck chasing an oozing toddler across the room. Our adventure ended with the bumbo in the sink and the baby in the bathtub.And also Mommy scrubbing an eight foot section of floor. 

2. Speaking of babies in the bath… Apparently, my reaction to mildly scary but amusing near drowning is to giggle. X was having his nightly bath, enjoying the usual activities of trying to climb out and throwing his toys overboard. He has learned the joys of splashing. He started one of his epic splash events. He threw his hands way up in the air and brought them down, a huge smile on his face in anticipation. The force of his body carried him farther than he expected so his whole body went under water. He wasn’t down for longer than a couple of seconds. Like two seconds. He emerged with a look of surprise, mouth open, eyes wide. Of course, he swallowed some water, so he was gasping. I pulled him out, holding his dripping from to my body and stroking his head. That’s when I started to giggle. I had been a little scared and I guess giggling was my body’s way of releasing that tension. I felt guilty about not reacting appropriately to my son’s misfortune. The look on his face was a little funny, though. 

3. Don’t let the hubby have the naked baby. After this little mishap, I handed the toddler off to my husband and went back to clean up waterworld. Jay apparently decided to let the baby climb on the bench cushions without a diaper. Right after a bath. Now… I know, and you probably know, what happens to little boys when they go from a warm bath to the cool air. Apparently, Jay forgot this little fact. Funny, since he is the one with the ‘willy wanger’ in the relationship. (Thats what he prefers to call X’s bits. I go with ‘penis’). I was just coming back into the room when X stopped his crawling and climbing long enough to pee. Right on the cushions I had just reupholstered.*sigh*

4. Baby toys will never be more fun than household items. We just had X’s first birthday party. He crawled away with several new toys that light up, shake, sing. I laid out a good selection of new and old toys and sat back to try to get some blogging done. When I checked on him a couple of minutes later, he had found a couple of Solo cups and was fitting them inside of each other. Now, one of the toys he had received was an elaborately colored stacking/fitting set of boxes with the alphabet on them.  Evidence suggested he had ignored his toys and found the cups, my bra, and a water bottle. 

5. Vtech toys are the worst (for parents). When he came home with the new toys, I set out to get rid of an equal number of his other toys to make room. So, gleefully, I removed several toys whose songs and phrases I Just. Could. Not. Hear. Again. Most of them are Vtech. X loves them. They light up. They sing. There are animals and flashing lights. I hate them. We were even in the car one day and Jay started singing one. I stopped him and said,”That’s not how it goes. It’s ‘Stretch up tall like a giraffe. Then, PLAY the monkey and laugh laugh laugh.’.”

Oh, motherhood…

More things I learned About Parenting

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